To my Sisters of the Night

Fight or flight is a curious response. Governing all but one. Or so it is believed. A deer runs from the hunter. The hunter runs from the bear. A human should run from death.

By curious coincidence i met one who didn't. Endowed as he was with an incurable ailment, he welcomed death as an old friend.

His sister was tormented by his death. To lose one so close - it was understandable. The comfort i could provide seemed not enough. She withdrew, and i saw her infrequently for a time.

We studied together for a few years after. Sharing a flat, we became close. Still, though, her brother lingered on her mind. She frequently disappeared into the night when he was discussed. Often, she would dismiss my insistence he was in a better place; she could have made it so he would not have to die. Unsure of her meaning, i argued not, made do to hold her close as she wept.

Some months passed, i saw her less and less in the evenings. My concern grew as she reverted to her previous, antisocial self. her bright eyes became dull, her vivacious manner turned withdrawn and distressed. At a loss, i confronted her as to her change in mood. A black cloud entered her eyes and she swept from the room.

Determined, i followed after her. Through the dark streets and alleys. My only thought to protect she i had grown to love. Passing into a forest, i grew wary. Tales of creatures that resided there surfaced. Yet i could not leave her be. Not this time.

Near midnight i stumbled upon a clearing bathed in moonlight. In the centre she stood - a goddess transformed. From her radiated a power i had never felt, save for the first time we met. At her feet lay a man, seduced by her power, yet clearly unable to sustain it. He had died, a pitiful fool, as she fed on his essence.

She gazed upon me - I could not have fooled her and slipped away - black eyes gleaming red. I understood all. Her brother could have been free to live. She could have turned him, imparted her power to him. That which she now offered me.

Many years later, she revealed that were it not for her love for me, she would have taken me by force. As it were, i freely accepted to spend eternity with her. Ours is a connection deeper than any. The most devoted of lovers do not reach the love we share.

We remain this way for eternity. Of the night.

To Question: Part 1

We're all in this together
But are we?

What happens to trust
When you can't trust the shirt on your back?

I trust you to be honest with me
And honest to no one else

Can i trust that you would save me?
Would you truly come and aid me?

A friend in need is a friend indeed.
Or a friend in debt?

I trust you could destroy me
And any chance i have to be.

I trust a thousand lifetimes
And i trust it to hurt.

"Hello starry night..."

A potrait of you
Mother
Father
Parent

Caregiver you are
Your portrait hangs around us
Painted blue and gray

Better it be known
You hold a rainbow
In your pocket
Are its origin, in fact

I see a thousand pictures
Of every piece of you
From my vantage
And yours

The bright, shining images
Show your playfulness
The life that is not life
Yet is what we are

Points if you can read this

esnes not tsum ew noitasnes etinifni na. emit lla dna ,tnaw I lla ,wonk I lla dnoyeb uoy evol dluow I wonk uoy ,rehto hcae evol ot eerf ew erew. eb ti tel tonnac I ,uoy gnivol fo thguoht eht ta erusaelp htiw eid I hguoht. su no ton taht hsiw dluow I dna, esnes etinifni eht ni efil etacilpmoc ot si evol ni eb ot. 'evol ni' eb ot ecnahc eht evah ton su tel. uoy evol I

rettel evol a

Two mintue maths poem

A funeral
Of the dead

A fitting place to be

Sunday best
Left at home

Who the fuck really cares?

Sit ourselves
Masked and not

In the pews of worship

Damned to Hell
Or Heaven, worse

A life of Mathematics

To A Friend

Run through the garden
Magestic hedges
Of days gone past
Days never happened
And days yet to come

In an ink and paper hailstorm
Can I find the castle within?
A sanctuary
For me and all
All who wish to be

Yet the maze is large
The journey long
The past twisting
Dangerous
Lost

A precipice juts
And i am almost over
Flying away
In a book today
Or tomorrow

Letting you go
I shall return
I cannot stay away
You are too good
You are my friend

Some don't understand
Most do not wish to
The joy, the fun
Adventure
In you

I visit your brothers and sisters
Cousins and such
Hold your children in my arms
Love them
Learn from them

Finding myself at home with you
With few for company
Let me lose myself on the journey
Find your castle, fortress
Remain in you forever

My friend

The Truth is Worse than Anything I could bring Myself to do to You (Take Two)

I see you

I see you
I saw you
Let me see you

Can we not talk without a code?
A binary vector could not help us
Check digit after digit

Our signals are confused
Our wires are crossed
The message is not getting through

Or is it?
Are we simply ignoring it?
Refusing to see?

Have i not made my communication clear?
Sign, signal, voice, word
Has it not got through?

What do we do?
When communication does not fail
Yet we do nothing

Live as life is
Without change
Happy in stasis

Would this make us happier?
I cannot know...
Nor do i know if you would

Yet i am convinced
You must know
You must be the one to know

To do

I see you

I want you
(I didn't say that)

The Truth is Worse than Anything I could bring Myself to do to You (Take One - aka, piece of crap)

Do not ask me
What i feel
Do not ask me
If i care

My answer: a resounding yes
I care
I care
I care

As for feeling...
What do we feel?
If not the throes of emotion
Deep within our souls

Anything less is but
A fancy
A fancy
A fancy

Yet i fancy,
I fancy for you
But i will not tell you
Never and a day

So don't ask
I shall not tell
What i feel
Feel for you

A quiet moment
That we can share
Is not enough
It's just not fair

Let's not face it
Delusion is grand
Grandeur of delusion
Fills our minds

What you are
Words cannot describe
Were you to feel what i feel
You could not deny

Were i to feel what you feel
I'd surely not survive
Can we feel together?
Just once

As long as we do not speak
Do not ask about our feeling
Do not ask
Do not ask

The truth
Would destroy
Heart and soul
What would we do then?

I think this sucks, but apparently it doesn't...

Sorry if i'm a litte too offensive.
It really isn't just the way i am.
We say that life is just an observation
Of everything we never truly want (and what we need)
So i'll give you my own little observations
On how life is supposed to be.

Scream enough when you are born,
For life to already hate you.
A quiet baby's a dead one - and the bath water's already waiting.
Smiles and cute innocence, will get you through childhood.
In adolescence you split in two:
Rebellious, drunken slut.
Studious, stoned whore.
Or a Can-Can hybrid.

I'm now more open to life - I've tasted it and seen it
So, of course, i want it
More than i fucking know i need it.

Monty said to me it was awfully nice to have a cock.
I disagree (but that's just me) - a kitty is much more my style
*wink wink nudge nudge*
I'd like to take a ride (down the street and back) with you.
I'd pull you into my car
We'd fight over who's steering.
Rhumba across a dancefloor - that sexy dance of love.
It's quite boring if you don't mean it
I mean it, but never danced like i have.
Mostly because sex on a dancefloor's not legal.
Heaven knows i stick to the law (if nothing else).

Another little pretty observation:
In a lecture no one gives a shit.
A microcosm of Australia.
Are you attending?
Who fucking cares!
Let's go get a drink.

I will drink vodka, but prefer my beer.
A connoisseur of lager,
Though i know nothing about it.
Let me prove i can hold my drink.
After that i'll balance the bottles into an artwork and auction it off.

I'll make a fortune (hopefully) from my drunken art.
Go and hide on an island when the world pisses me off.
I've already done that (metaphorically) and discovered i really hate the world.
Yet i put up with the world - i know it cannot be changed.
Not by me.

Here's to all life's observations - be they big or small.
Here's to us and us and them - whoever we may be.
Here's to drink and drunken love - rhumba in a car with me.

Heil Rail

Effectively effective,
The lesser of evils,
My friend I shall meet you this week
(And next).

You are there for my journey,
Beginning, middle and end,
Yet not the prelude
Nor finale.

A motley collection,
Old, young, cold, warm.
I prefer the company of the old
And cold.

Complaints abound
Of you and your minders.
I never really understood,
You’ve been nice to me.

Yet my friends always turn,
You are no different.
A bad day came,
Then another.

Jokingly slow
I cursed your joy
At my frustration
My boredom.

The next day you were sick,
Cancelled our appointments
When I was already waiting
For you.

Changing and changing,
It made no difference.
I ran and ran,
Though I never ran for you before.

Utterly spent
You have destroyed my faith.
Yet I love you still
As I do all.

Word

What do we put to the world?
That which we articulate
To convey
Understand

Evolution dictates a change
Sign me
Speak to me
Shout at me

With language comes understanding
Or,
More likely,
Confusion

Can we co-exist?
Use a beauty so great
Yet not know
What it means

“What’s in a name?”
A word
An intonation
Which sets our hearts alight

He knew
The Greatness of words
That which confuses
Confounds

Few have truly been privy to this
Most have wanted to share
More and more have we glimpsed it
Unknowingly

Yet we continue
Exploration
A beauty so real
We feel it beyond our consciousness

My First Suicide

Oliver stands on the hills,
Hair and clothes wet still.
The worthless shaft and twig gripped in his hand
Or hanging loosely, plain and bland.

Gaze at the mottled,
Blue, gray crush.
Will it envelope me still?
If i ask it, will it keep me?

Sing to me
Sweet, Heavenly sounds
For you
Are the last i hear.

Caressed by a pale hand
My cheek grows numb.
Surrender to my longing
Not to long for.

I dreamed of a train today
Of how it passed beneath me.
I watched the empty tracks
And wondered for a moment.

Feel not the pain
My earthen friend
Fear not
The deadly joy

I join you later
Or not at all
Depends
On my last.

Untitled #1 (it kinda sucks)

Don’t you think it’s funny?
I only met you a minute ago

There’s something to be said
For intelligent conversation

If I don’t know your name
It’s easier to be your friend

If I forget your name
It’s easier to love you

Love without names is so satisfying
Yet unsatisfyingly so

I’d rather scream your name to the World
Than crash silently to the shore

In another minute I might know you
Then we can be friends and love